Knotted Heart
by aspire2write
Summary: She was in knots as she drove there with only one thought on her mind. Get to Edward. Get to Sir. He'll take care of me. He'll take care of her. Entry for the 2018 TFN Tied Up in You Contest


**Knotted Heart: TFN Tied Up In You Contest Entry**

 **Beta:** EdwardsFirstKiss

 **DISCLAIMER:** Twilight and its inclusive material is copyright to Stephenie Meyer. Original creation, including but not limited to plot and characters, is copyright to the respective authors of each story. No copyright infringement is intended.

 **WARNING:** This story will mention rape. I do not describe the assault in detail, but it is mentioned and addressed. If this is a trigger, please proceed with caution or do not read. I promise, I understand if you choose to back out. After it happened to me, I could not read anything that even mentioned it for many years. It is a topic I cover, because of my intimate knowledge and understanding. I write about it to prove (to myself) that I don't let that assault define me. If it has happened to you, know that you are not alone. There are many of us here for you in any way you need/would like.

 **Awards:** 1st Place Public Vote, 2nd Place Judges Vote, Judge's Choice: Alyscia, Secret Keeper's Choice: Lyn-Sky

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The night was beautiful. The obsidian sky was dotted with dazzling stars. With no moon in sight, each twinkle shone brightly. There were no skyscrapers this far outside of the city with artificial lighting to taint the view. It was a picture of serenity. Or rather, it should have been. I couldn't see it though. With a white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel, I could barely see the asphalt in front of me. With each mile marker that whizzed by, I could feel myself falling apart at the seams.

At the door, I bent over at the waist, my cinnamon brown hair sticking to my damp face. My breath failed me when a pain ripped through my chest as the memories began to flood into my mind. _His rough, calloused hand wrapping around my throat as his hot, stale breath leaked onto my cheek._ I squeezed my eyes shut at the image. " _Bella."_ My shaky legs fought to keep me standing as I tried to pull myself to my full height. " _Bella."_ If I could just knock. " _Bella!"_ How did I…oh god, my lungs burned.

"Kitten! Look at me." Everything stood still for one blessed moment. He was here. Finally, I drew in a slightly deeper breath and looked up. His six-feet, two-inch frame filled the door. His broad shoulders that carried the weight of this…of us, heaved with a deep breath and squared. His coppery hair stood on end like it did when he ran his hand through it after our sessions, and his eyes were set, strong and commanding, as he gazed at me with authority. "Stand up." I struggled to do so, but eventually, I was standing and curled forward only slightly. Something in his eyes softened slightly at my stance, and it terrified me. I needed him in control. I broke eye contact as my throat started closing as if someone was strangling me, and I took one step back. I couldn't…he couldn't… "Stop."

"Sir," I breathed out in a whisper unable to muster more strength. He reached forward, wrapped both hands around my upper arms, and pulled me inside.

"Shoes off." I fumbled with the heels, unclasping the buckle on the ankles before wriggling my feet until they fell to the ground. "Wait for me in the room."

"Yes, Sir." The tightness in my chest dissipated a fraction. Sir would take care of me.

I made my way up the stairs with Sir a few steps behind. He turned into the first room on the left, his room, while I continued to the last door on the right. He must have been preparing for tomorrow as the door stood open. He'd always said it remained shut and locked throughout the week. The smell of leather mixed with cleaner helped to clear my mind slightly. I removed my clothes slowly, the action more laborious than usual. I hooked my fingers into the band of my underwear. The feel of fingers, even if it was mine, there made my breath hitched. _His hands skimmed down my arm as his legs pinned me against the grass._

"I've got you, Kitten." His strong voice broke me from my trance as his soft hand pet my head. "Leave them on for now. Take your place." I stepped forward stumbling over my own feet. Before I could fall, he steadied me, and then walked me the few feet to my spot and helped me lower onto my knees. Once he was assured I was stable, he stepped away. I straightened my back as much as I could, laid my hands on my thighs, and lowered my eyes to train them on the slightly crooked tile in front of me. Within a minute, he returned and placed his hand on my head as he moved behind me. My shoulders tensed, but I fought the urge to pull away. "Good girl." His praise allowed me to relax minutely. I could feel myself trembling slightly and wondered how long that had been going on. I concentrated on the feel of him plaiting my hair into a braid and securing it with a tie before he moved back in front of me, his bare feet stopping in my line of sight. I could see his calves and almost moved my gaze up to look over his legs. Where were his ever-present jeans? "Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and hold it."

I followed his instructions but failed miserably. My breaths were shallow pants, and I was unable to hold a breath for more than four seconds. Disappointment shot through me. I tried again with the same result. My huffed of annoyance slipped through before I shook my head to try to get myself under control so I could please him. He encouraged me to try again with more patience and understanding than I could ever understand. It took a few minutes, but finally I was able to follow his instructions, holding my breath until he instructed me to release. Though my breaths were under control, my mind was another story. It just wouldn't clear. The images at the forefront of my mind couldn't be pushed away causing my breath to hitch as the scene played out.

"You know your safe words," Sir said, his words yanking me back to the present. "What are you?" I hesitated not wanting to fail him.

"Y-yellow, Sir," I rasped, the sting of failure coursing through me. "I'm sorry, Sir."

"No." His voice was sharp. "You never apologize for using your safe words. Never." A caress of his hand over my cheek eased the vice squeezing my heart. "I am so grateful you're honest with me, Kitten. You must always be honest with me." I missed his touch as soon as it left my face. "Tell me what brought you here." I couldn't…it wasn't…he was…I was… "Deep breaths. Slow breaths." His calm, steady voice washed over me. I took a few moments to pull myself together again and noticed my hands were clenched, my palms aching where my fingernails had dug into the tender flesh. "On the porch, what were you feeling?"

"I…" He waited as I tried to verbalize what was happening. "I was falling apart. I feel like I'm falling apart." It was the only way I knew how to describe it, the way my insides were trying to crawl out of me.

"I want you on the bed, on your knees."

I immediately stood and moved to the other side of the room. I had no idea what he had planned, but it didn't matter. He would take care of me. Sir always took care of me. I trusted him. It had taken us quite a bit of time to get here, but I trusted him implicitly. Before long, he moved to me with the red, silk rope in hand. My heart calmed at the sight. I knew he'd want me on my knees, arms above my head, but I waited for his gentle command before I moved. He wrapped it around my body, securing a knot at the base of my spine. From there, he wrapped it tightly around my torso with slow movements ensuring the loops were taut against each other. With each brush of his fingers against my flushed skin, the further up the corset became, the more my breathing eased. As he reached the underside of my chest, he moved to loop the silk over my shoulders leaving my breasts exposed. I was confused as he paused on what would normally be the last loop and began fashioning something I couldn't make out. After a few moments, he moved the last loop over my chest and secured it with another knot at the base of my neck.

"Beautiful," I heard him mutter though I'm not sure he meant to say it out loud. I shuddered at the feeling of finally being able to breath as he moved to stand in front of me at the foot of the bed. He took my right hand and pulled it down to place over my left breast. I could feel something I hadn't before and moved my hand slightly to try to make out what he'd done. I could feel the shape of a heart in the rope resting over where mine was. "It's safe here. You're safe with me." I closed my eyes as emotion overwhelmed me and tried desperately to hold in my sob. His hand slid up my neck and onto my cheek to tilt my face so I was looking at him. He swiped his thumb under my eye, brushing away a tear that had fallen against my will. "Color." I had to clear my throat before I could answer.

"Green, Sir." He nodded once as a smile tugged at his lips. I closed my eyes and took the deepest breath of the evening before letting it out slowly.

"Lie down. On your back." I did as I was told, and he pulled me until my legs were hanging off the bed. "Arms above your head. I want them to stay there." He walked away, and I fought the urge to track his movements. When he returned, he was holding a thick, silk scarf. "What color would you be if I were to blindfold you?" I bit my lip, desperately wanting to give him a different answer. I couldn't though. I'd vowed to always be honest with him. This wouldn't work if we weren't honest with each other.

"Yellow, Sir." I wasn't in the right headspace for that. Not tonight. I could try, but I didn't know how that would end.

"Thank you."

He motioned for my hands which I pulled down and offered to him. Placing my hands palm-to-palm, he then proceeded to wrap the scarf around my wrists, tying them with a pretty bow. He pushed my bound hands away, and I moved them above my head once more. His gentle hands settled on my collarbones, tracing them softly creating a pleasant sensation. He didn't speak, and knowing him, he probably wouldn't again for a while. He was a quiet man, his measured and deliberate words always delivered at the perfect time, volume, and timbre. He was a purposeful man here as well as in everyday life. I closed my eyes as the horrors in my mind mercifully began to fade. My heartbeat slowed once more, and my body began to settle, the trembling finally fading. He spent an immeasurable amount of time trailing his fingers over my arms, my hands, my legs, and my feet. He applied the perfect amount of pressure to the soles of my feet, relaxing me further.

Even nerve ending felt as he moved his fingers back to my collarbones, and the feeling shifted from comforting to something else. I focused on the sensation of his fingers traveling over the rope and down to my breasts. My nipples ached and hardened as he circled them with wet fingers. I hissed at the coolness. He may be a quiet man, but he had always loved my sounds. And I wanted to please him. I arched slightly as his hands moved down the fashioned rope corset, and though there was a barrier between his skin and mine, I could feel the heat of his touch as if nothing separated us. When I thought he'd make contact with my pussy, his hands moved outward to trail down my thigh. I sighed in both frustration and relief. I wanted him to have me. I needed him to make me forget.

The whisper of his lips on the inside of my knee made me jump slightly. The movement caused him to place his hands on my thighs in a soft, silent command to stay still. The action held me in place, my legs spread and open for his musings. He blazed a trail of soft, wet kisses up my inner thigh and over my hip nipping at the top of my hipbone making me whimper. All I could feel was him. All I could picture behind my closed lids was the top of his soft, messy locks I would see if I were to open my eyes and look down. I wouldn't though. I may not be able to allow him to blindfold me, but I could remove my sight of my own free will. When his lips trailed in toward the top of my mound, I sucked in a sharp breath, tilted my head back, and bit my lip as a groan spilled from my lips. His hands still held my legs in place, so my movement was minimal, but I squirmed slightly and clenched my hands together to fight the urge to run them through his hair.

His mouth moved up, away from where I wanted him, laying kisses on the rope, two quick pecks to my breasts, and then north again until I could feel his warm, crisp breath fan over my mouth and cheeks. My own lips parted to breathe him in as he hovered there. Just as I was about to move to capture his lips, he placed his own lips on my mouth in the softest kiss I'd ever experienced. My heartbeat increased, but for a good reason this time. He lingered there momentarily before he drew my top lip into his mouth and nibbled. He then pulled my bottom lip between his teeth before soothing the slight sting with his tongue. The moan that escaped me should have been embarrassing.

The kiss was slow and restrained. He caressed the inside of my mouth as if it were the first time, the last time, the most important time he'd ever touched me. I savored the taste of him, but more importantly, I soaked in the feeling of security and protection enjoying how it felt as though he cherished, adored me. My stomach clenched, my pussy throbbed, and my mind was consumed by him. I felt one hand rest by my head and the other gripped behind my knee hitching my leg over his hip. I trailed my foot up his thigh to settle on that firm ass pulling him forward until our lower halves were flush against each other. I moved my hips to rub against him, and his kisses became more aggressive and urgent. When my lungs began to burn for air, he pulled away then pushed himself to stand. My eyes opened, and he reached to hook his fingers in the band of my underwear.

"How do you feel about this?" he asked. I didn't need to think about this one.

"Green." He pulled the underwear and let them snap back against me. "Sir. Green, Sir." He pulled them off slowly, tossing them to the floor and pushing his shorts off. His cock was hard and weeping as it bobbed after being released from its confines. My pussy throbbed at the sight. He moved forward positioning himself at my entrance. Before pushing inside, his eyes captured mine.

"I want to hear you." I nodded. "I want to feel you. You can touch me, but I want you focused on us being together, how good it feels. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Sir." As I finished my assurance, he slowly pushed inside until he was settled as deep as he could get with our hips flush against each other. My eyes fluttered closed at the feeling of fullness, my mouth hanging open in silent pleasure. His hands settled on my waist as he swiveled his hips drawing a slight whimper from me.

"Come on, Kitten. You can do better than that." He pulled away and pushed back with more force.

"Ung. Sir!"

Finally satisfied that he was hearing what he wanted, his movements began in earnest. The feel of his cock sliding inside of me, stretching me while my juices coating both him and my thighs was pure ecstasy. I wrapped one leg around his waist anchoring it to his ass to pull him in deeper. I couldn't get enough of him. I could _never_ get enough of him. Before long, I felt the coil in my belly tighten, and my sounds grew louder. He told me not yet. He told me to hold it off. I moved deeper into my headspace, focusing on holding back my impending orgasm. I had to please him.

He fell forward, bracing himself above me, his legs still planted on the floor for maximum leverage. He pulled my leg higher into the crook of his elbow allowing him to go deeper than before. The sounds coming from my throat were foreign even to my ears. Unable to stop myself, I moved my hands over his head and around his neck. I gripped his copper locks with as much strength as I could, holding on for the glorious ride. The depths he was reaching…it was like he was crawling inside me, but he wasn't close enough.

"Fuck," I muttered, too out of breath to put much volume behind it. "Fucking…oh, Sir!" His movements sped up, and I knew it wouldn't be long. It couldn't be long. I don't think I would be able to hold off much longer. When the curse fell from my lips, he hitched the other leg into the crook of his elbow folding me in half. The force of his thrusts increased, and I was deliriously awash in rapture.

"Now."

The one-word command was all it took. My breath left me, the coil snapped, and my mind went blank as overwhelming pleasure coursed through me. In my haze, I don't remember him coming; I don't remember what sounds I made. I don't remember anything between the moment of my orgasm and coming back to consciousness in what had to be quite a bit later. I was still on the bed though, and he had dragged me up so I was fully on the mattress with my wrists free of their confines. The braid had been undone, and he lay beside me with his fingers trailing through my tangled locks. He watched me with slight concern, but that was always there. He was always looking out for my wellbeing.

"Thank you, Sir," I said with a hoarse voice. He smiled mischievously.

"You did so well, Kitten." He ran a finger over my cheek lightly. "Wait here. I'll be back in a moment." He moved off the bed gingerly and padded out of the room. With him gone, the weight of what I'd done settled over me. Coming here on a night outside of our arrangement, not being in the correct headspace for these actions, not being able to please him with unfettered obedience – I worried that he'd end what we had. I could have royally screwed up. Moments later, he returned, moving me to sit up with him sitting in front of me. "I know what you're thinking, and you are wrong. What happened did not displease me. I am not angry, and this does not change anything between us." I sighed in relief. "Come."

He took me by the hand and helped me from the bed, but my legs were wobbly. He placed an arm around my waist and then bent to scoop me into his arms, carrying me from the room. He walked through his room into the en-suite where the tub was filling with fragrant water. The tiles were cool when he placed me on the ground near the countertop that I could use for support. He then proceeded to untie the rope and let it fall from my body. I rubbed over the indentions it had made in my skin with fondness. He'd known exactly what I had needed, because he knew me better than I knew myself. Once I was free of all confines, he turned off the faucet, stepped inside, and helped me step over the edge. He lowered me into the water and settled behind me, pulling my back against his chest. We remained there for a few long, silent moments as I continued to return to reality. Eventually, though he broke the quietness of the room.

"Are you ready for Edward, or do you still need Sir?" he asked quietly with his arms wrapped around me lightly. I pulled his palm up to place a kiss there.

"I'm sorry, Edward," I told him honestly. His arms tightened around me in comfort, acknowledging the switch in our relationship. "I was so out of it. I didn't know which way was up, didn't know what was happening. On the drive here, I wasn't sure who would be at your door, Kitten or me. I just knew I had to get here. I just needed you, all of you. I knew you'd take care of me."

"You had me very worried, Bella. I'm not going to lie." He sighed heavily, also decompressing from the night. "What happened, Baby? You can tell me. I'm here for you. Always." I took a deep breath to bolster myself.

"I saw him." He grew eerily still. "I guess he's out, because he was at the super market near my house. He didn't approach me. I don't think he even saw me, but he was there. I saw him, and it took me right back to that park." I shuddered as the images tried to flood my head. It didn't matter that four years had passed since that night. I could still smell the trees and feel the dew on my skin.

"I am so sorry, Baby. I didn't know. I'm so sorry you had to see him." I shuddered again as Edward pressed a kiss to my neck and shoulder softly.

He leaned to grab the soap and a washcloth, worked up a lather, and pushed me forward slightly so he could wash me. The action made the emotion within me swell. How did this man know what I needed before I did? After washing me thoroughly, he motioned for me to stand and rinsed away the suds before releasing the plug and standing himself. He took a towel from the warming rack and dried my body while placing kisses on my warmed skin paying special attention to the raised skin on my upper right arm. After helping me out of the tub, he dried himself quickly and led me to the bed where he pulled back the covers and helped me inside. Sliding into the other side of the bed, he pulled my body against him, holding me close.

"Sleep now, Baby," he whispered softly as I fought a yawn. "We'll deal with this in the morning. You're exhausted right now." I threaded my fingers through his hand that was wrapped around me and snuggled against him. I was safe to drift off; he'd protect me from anything. "Goodnight, sweet girl. I love you." The kiss he pressed to my temple was so light I wasn't sure if it was reality or a dream.

The next morning, I woke slowly. My body was exhausted and sore from our activities the evening before. I stretched hearing my back pop and sighed. I rolled over to find that Edward was gone, his side of the bed cold meaning he'd been up for a while. I squinted at the clock on the side of the bed and bolted upright when I saw that it was already 9:00am. I should have been at work an hour ago. I scrambled from the bed, looking around for my clothes before realizing they were in the playroom. I donned a robe and moved down the hall to find the door closed and locked, but I could faintly hear Edward in the study across the hall. I moved to knock on the door and paused when his angry tone of voice registered.

"I don't want to hear your fucking excuses," he spat at the person I assumed was on the other end of a phone call. "I was supposed to be notified _before_ he was released from prison. Somehow you and your firm failed to follow those simple instructions, and because of that, she had to encounter that fucking rapist on her own, unprepared. This is your fault, and I will make sure you pay for it. Do you understand me?" I bit my lip when tears gathered in my eyes as a result of both fear and gratitude. I didn't know what I was going to do now that he was out walking around. He could be anywhere, and I could run into him. At the same time, deep in my heart, I knew Edward would take care of me. He always did. "You can damn well try to fix it, but the damage is already done. You'll be hearing from me soon." The finality of his tone prompted me to knock lightly.

"Edward?" The door opened seconds later.

"Good morning, Sunshine," he said with a smile. I bit my lip at the endearment he'd been using since I woke up from my first sleepover at his place, but he could still see the tears in my eyes. He smiled sadly and pulled me into his arms as I sniffled. "It's going to be okay. I promise." Finally realizing the time again, I pulled away.

"I'm late." He shook his head, his hands rubbing my arms soothingly.

"I called the office to let them know you were sick and would not be coming in today. I also called Shelley to let her know I was taking the day off so she could reschedule my two meetings." I opened my mouth, but he cut me off before I could say a word. "Don't start feeling guilty. After yesterday, you deserve a day off. I can take time off when I want perks of being my own boss." He smiled at me cheekily before tucking me into his side and steering me towards the stairs. "We're going to have breakfast, be lazy, talk, and come up with a plan to move forward. Okay?"

"I'll eventually need to get ready for tonight."

"No." He helped me onto a barstool and sat beside me as Ms. Jones, his cook, moved around the kitchen. "Tonight I, Edward, need you, Bella. Sir and Kitten can wait." I'd long ago gotten accustomed to talking about our Dominant/submissive relationship in front of Edward's staff.

"So, she didn't upset you? I mean, Kitten did come on an unarranged night?"

"That is the beauty of us. There are times when Sir and Kitten need each other, just as there are times when Edward and Bella need each other. You obviously needed Sir to take control, to bring your world back into balance. That's okay. I'm not angry. I'm just thankful I could read the situation and figure out what you, what Kitten needed."

"It's like you can reach inside my mind and see me to the very soul." He leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine softly. "I don't know how to thank you and how to repay you."

"There's no need for that. I will happily be here for you. You are everything to me, Bella."

"I just wish I could offer you more than this broken person." He scowled at my comment.

"You're not broken. You may have some kinks, some knots, but that's okay. I kind of like kinks." I blushed as I looked at Ms. Jones who was valiantly ignoring us, but I could make out the smile tugging at her lips. Maybe I wasn't totally used to talking about the details of our Dom/sub relationship in front of his staff. "I was being honest last night, Bella." He placed his hand over my heart. "This is safe here. Your heart is safe with me." I moved into his lap, pressed my face into his neck, and wrapped myself around him as much as I could as his arms wound around me, securing me to him. "I love you, Baby. I always will."

"I love you, too." And I did. With all my being, with all my knotted heart. Bella loved Edward. And Kitten loved Sir.

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 **A/N 07/01/18: Surprise! I entered another contest, TFN's All Tied Up In You. It was a BDSM contest, something I have never, ever ventured into. I was/still am very nervous to post this.**

 **I want to first thank my beta, EdwardsFirstKiss. She was integral to the process and such a champion/encourager when I needed it. I appreciate you very much.**

 **I also want to say a big thank you to the team that organized this contest. Honestly, I probably wouldn't have attempted to cover this subject without the cover of anonymity. Thank y'all so much!**

 **I hope this was something you enjoyed. I do plan to continue this at some point. I'm not sure if it'll have 1-2 chapters to wrap it up or if I'll go more into the background of the characters and make it longer. If you're interested in more, please place me on author alert. Let me know what you think.**


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